glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
