I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
