I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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