Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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