I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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