So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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