Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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