What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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