just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
