i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you would pick up someone in the library
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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