spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
