After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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