How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need help removing her.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
