I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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