He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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