Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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