I think I won the penis lottery.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
