Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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