I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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