No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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