I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
