Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
