I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Farmville is her only friend.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
