in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize