Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
