My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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