My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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