): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
