I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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