Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
