I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
