Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
