I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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