We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
