is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
