I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
