I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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