Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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