i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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