Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
