If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
