"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
