the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
