Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize