I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
