yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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