I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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