Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
