if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
