real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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