I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
