If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
