dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
