I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
