The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize