Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
