So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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