apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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