The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
