how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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