A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
