Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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