Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
