So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
