she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
