i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
