Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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