Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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