This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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